


More than meets the eye

by zation



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Knows, Cheating Dean, Confused Dean, Construction Worker Castiel, Dean Feels Bad, Dean is Ben's Dad, Dean is married to Lisa, Emotional Dean, Emotional Infidelity, Established Relationship, F/M, Frottage, M/M, Masturbation, Nipple Play, Pining Dean, Prompt Fic, Sad Dean, Season 05 compliant, Top Dean, Vaginal Sex, alcohol as a coping method, twist ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:58:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8857102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zation/pseuds/zation
Summary: Dean has the perfect life. Beautiful wife, nice kid, steady job and a great house. A white picket fence-y kind of life, really. Then one day he wakes up unexplainably sad and when he meets construction worker Castiel things just kind of spiral out of control.Or,The one where Dean knows something is wrong but doesn’t know what. Until he does.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually a prompt I got but the prompt in itself revealed the ending so I couldn’t include the text in the summary like I usually do. End notes contain the prompt instead and therefore spoilers :D  
> Thank you for prompting me! <3 
> 
> And thank you Ms. Beta BeeCas for being the rock that you are to me!

  
  


Dean stirred awake slowly. Sunlight was shining in and across the bed, making everything under the comforter uncomfortably hot. He shifted his legs and made a grimace at the tacky feel of sweat at the backs of his knees.

He turned his head to stare grumpily at the window. It had perfectly good blinders, why weren’t they drawn? Because Lisa liked to wake to the sunlight, he supposed. He sighed and rolled to his side, staring at the back of his wife’s head. She was still sleeping, he could tell by her breathing.

He reached out a hand and gently touched her silken strands. Hair so dark brown it was almost black and why was Dean’s heart thudding dully? He frowned but couldn’t say why inexplicit sadness washed over him. When he combed his fingers more roughly through her long hair she stirred and mewled out a protest.

Dean felt weird.

He rolled to his back and rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye. He thankfully didn’t have time to dwell too long on the weirdness of his own feelings because his touching had woken Lisa and she was turning to him with a lazy smile.

"You up already, honey?" she mumbled and snuggled in to rest her head on his chest.

He swallowed against a lump. "I couldn’t sleep."

"Ugh, me either." She giggled. Dean frowned and was about two seconds away from correcting her grammar but managed to stop himself. Where had that even come from? Out of the two Winchester brothers Sam had always been the one more likely to mark words like that, not Dean.

"Yeah?" he mumbled distractedly and traced a pattern on her shoulder. She threw off his arm with an annoyed huff but smiled at him when she sat up in bed. Dean was glad to be rid of her warmth because the bed was sweltering by now.

"They start construction today. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten?"

Memories of preparing for a remodeling of their kitchen flooded Dean’s mind so fast it hurt. He raised a hand and pressed the heel to his temple but managed to meet her smile with one of his own.

"Yeah." He croaked out but she didn’t seem to notice his lackluster and repetitive answers.

Right. So Lisa had wanted a nicer kitchen for a long time and when their son, Ben, accidentally broke the faucet in the kitchen sink she had taken it as an incentive to start seriously looking for remodeling. And they had spent months deciding on what she wanted. They had closed a deal with _Mickelsen Construction_ and today was the day that the actual construction work was going to start. They had chosen a Saturday intentionally, wanting both of them to be home when their house got invaded by construction workers, just to see who they were and to get them started as soon as possible. Lisa’s words.

Great. Dean couldn’t wait.

Sure, it would suck to have to eat all his dinners at Lisa’s sister’s house but whatever, he could deal. He didn’t know what this strange sadness had come from but it had dissipated as soon as Lisa got off the bed so Dean attributed it to a lingering unconscious thought. Might be he had dreamed that she and Ben died or something.

"Come on, Dean." Lisa said when she reentered the bedroom. Dean startled to realize he hadn’t actually noticed her leave. "Ben’s watching cartoons, wanna join me in the shower?"

She smiled at him in a clearly seductive way and his stomach flipped. Hell yeah he wanted a quickie in the shower. He growled playfully at her and sped after her when she giggled and fled to their master bedroom’s bathroom.

She didn’t get far, though, and he was soon pressed up against her, her back to his chest as he kissed her neck. She sighed pleasurably and leaned back against him when he put his hands on her hips. Her negligée was smooth under his hands but he wanted skin more.

She gave a pained whimper when he bit down a little on her neck and she turned in a flourish, getting her hair in Dean’s face in the process.

"No biting." She stated with a grin. "Beast."

But…she liked that, didn’t she? Well, no, judging by the shake of her head. Dean was momentarily confused but then shrugged it off. He had probably thought of another girl. Lisa was anyhow naked now, her negligée on the closed toilet lid and he didn’t need to think about anything else.

She smirked at his perky dick and made a show of bending in to start the water before they went in. He huffed out a laugh and shucked down the boxer briefs he had been sleeping in. His half-hard dick bobbed as he moved closer and when Lisa turned around to hug him he groaned lowly at the feel of his erection against the soft crease of her hip.

They kissed languidly until he started rutting against her. The water in the shower was hot enough by then to have steam billowing around them and Lisa stepped back to drag him in under the stream. There she made quick work of jerking him off as he gasped against her wet hair.

Eyes closed and every sensation laser focused on his dick, he spilled against her just a couple of minutes later and she made a pleased hum. That noise, however, brought back some of that unexplainable sadness and Dean gritted his teeth against it.

When he opened his eyes he saw that she was washing off his come and somehow that felt wrong. Felt like he wanted her to want to lick it up. And her hum, it had been…it hadn’t sounded right.

What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Baby?" she mumbled then and startled him out of his thoughts. She traced his face with her delicate fingers and even that felt wrong. He almost wanted to cry. But then she kissed him again and that…that felt okay. Felt good. Familiar.

The longer they stood there under the water and kissed the better it felt and eventually Dean pushed those weirds thoughts to the back of his mind. He had had a bad dream, that was all.

  


*****

  


After devouring a probably unhealthy amount of the leftover breakfast Lisa’s sister had given them the day before and horsing around with Ben for a while Dean felt much better. Yes, seeing his wife and son happy always made him happy and by the time the construction team was due to come he had completely forgotten about his confusing morning.

 _Mickelsen Construction_ promised timely delivers and it started out good. They had been scheduled to arrive at noon and were only late by ten minutes. Practically a success, Dean thought.

He smiled politely at the elderly man who introduced himself as Dan Mickelsen. He had sharp brown eyes and a black hair that was greying at the temples. He was jovial and made Dean feel at ease.

"Today will be mostly about preparations." Dan explained as he shook hands with Dean and Lisa. "We’ll be closing off the rest of the house so as little of the dust gets anywhere else and we’ll be setting up our equipment. The actual work will start tomorrow, at the earliest."

Dean was a pretty handy guy but he had never taken on a project this big on his own before so he had to trust that the man knew what he was doing. Still, this was his house.

"Just ask if you need anything." He offered confidently. Lisa snorted at him.

"Don’t mind him Mr. Mickelsen." She laughed and Dean pressed his lips together. "We trust you."

Dan smiled. "Well, that’s good to hear. Doesn’t hurt to know that we have a volunteer if we need it, though." He said with a wink and Dean felt rebuffed even if he hadn’t been.

Or had he? Sure, he was paying these guys to do the work for him so him helping them would probably defeat their purpose but he wanted the old man to know he wasn’t completely useless. He didn’t like being humored.

"I did think there would be more of you." Lisa said then and ripped Dean from his thoughts. Dan nodded.

"They’ll be arriving tomorrow. For today it’s just me and Cas but don’t worry, that kid is just as sharp as me, if not more so."

Lisa smiled, obviously pleased. Dean just looked around but there clearly wasn’t anyone else in the empty kitchen but them. He wondered if Cas was a woman. It would be fun to see an actual female construction worker as opposed to the fake ones in the pornos Lisa didn’t let him watch. He wondered if she would be butch or slim. Both would have their advantages in a work like this, he supposed.

"Dean, honey?" he startled when Lisa put a hand on his arm. "Could you take out the trash? I want to show Dan the idea about the cabinet in the corner that we talked about." That Lisa had talked about.

"Yes, dear." He smiled indulgently. His motions felt stiff and stilted as he went out to the hall where they had put the kitchen trash can for now.

It was kind of full and he sighed at it before bending down and doing his best to pry the plastic bag from its container without anything spilling. For a moment he considered calling Ben down to deal with it instead but the boy had fled up to his room when Dan arrived so Dean decided not to. If Ben was in his shy mood then Dean didn’t want to force him out of his shell.

He tied the bag with zero spilling and felt satisfied with that. They kept their garbage can out by the garage, between the garage and their neighbor’s hedge. Dean had put it there just to spite the old hag that lived next to them and Lisa was always on him to move it but he refused. If old Mrs. Hinterman didn’t stop complaining about his grass being too yellowish then he wouldn’t move his smelly garbage can and that was that.

Just as he closed the lid to the can and swatted his hands clean from imaginary smudge a van sidled up to their lawn and parked nose to tailpipe with Dan’s car. The van had the _Mickelsen Construction_ logo on it too so Dean assumed it had to be that Cas kid.

He wiped his hands again and walked up to the car, intent on introducing himself as the house owner but he stopped in his tracks when he saw the person getting out of the van.

Because that wasn’t a woman nor was it a kid.

It was a grown man, Dean’s age if not older, with a five o’clock stubble and a sharp jaw. A man with a lithe body in a white wife beater and snug jeans over work boots. A man with a tan so even he must be tanning naked. With a straight nose, tousled brown-black hair, and a tool belt he was just now fastening over the clear bulge of his certainly impressive package.

It was a man with the most intense, most wondrously blue eyes Dean had ever seen and fucking fuck, was Dean swooning? Over a _man_?!

Then the man turned to him and _smiled_. Dean felt like a teenage girl.

"Oh, hello." The man said and God, his voice was like whisky on the rocks. He walked up to Dean and offered his hand to shake.

Dean gripped it in an admittedly feeble grip and holy fuck, even though the man had on sturdy work gloves Dean still felt a pleasurable chill go through his whole body at the merest pressure. He felt his lips tremble as he tried to form words and he was honestly uncertain what, if anything, had come out of his mouth.

Yep, he was swooning.

The man quirked his plump, pink, absolutely _gorgeous_ lips. "I’m Castiel, I’m working for Dan."

"Right." Dean squeaked, fucking _squeaked_! Jesus Christ… "Dan said something about a Cas…"

Castiel smiled widely again. "That would be me." They weren’t shaking hands anymore but they were still _holding_ hands. Fuck. "And you are…?"

Dean was an idiot who was obviously sick in the head.

He managed not to rip his hand away but remove it normally. He thought. "I’m Dean, the owner. Of-of the house. That you…um…"

Dean wanted to die. He was almost thirty for fuck’s sake and this was a _man_. Dean wasn’t attracted to men, he was married! To a woman!

Castiel just continued to smile and Dean felt pinned by the man’s intense eyes. "Oh yes, Dean and Lisa Winchester." He said pleasantly and why did Dean love hearing his name in the man’s gravelly voice? "I hope we will be able to satisfy your needs."

Was he fucking kidding?!

"I’m sure you will." Dean squeaked, _again_. "Well, Dan’s inside if you want to…" he gestured aimlessly at his house at large as if Castiel would know where to go.

But he just nodded and dipped his head. "I’ll be getting to work then. It was nice meeting you, Dean."

"Y-yeah." Dean stammered because apparently he did that now too. "You too, Castiel."

"Please." Castiel said with a crooked grin that totally looked fucking hot. "Call me Cas."

Dean absolutely one hundred percent ogled the man’s ass as he walked into the house. Dean’s heart was racing and he was appalled to find that his dick had taken as much interest in this meeting as the rest of him.

What the hell was going on?

  


*****

  


Dean was clearly being punished for something. What, he wasn’t sure, but he absolutely knew that someone somewhere was laughing at him.

Because Dean was a straight man’s man with a beautiful and loving wife and yet he was reduced to a blubbering mess with inappropriate boners as soon as he was in Cas’ vicinity. It didn’t make sense! And it certainly didn’t help that it was hot as all hell outside and Cas insisted on taking off his wife beater every goddamn chance he got. Or, you know, once in a while but whatever.

Sure, a lot of the other guys got partially undressed too as they worked outside in the heat but none of them even came close to Cas’ gloriously tanned and fit body. Dean’s mouth was dry as he watched from his upstairs window.

A week later the _Mickelsen_ workers had installed themselves pretty well in the Winchester house and had basically reduced the kitchen to an empty shell. Every cabinet, counter, kitchen appliance had been ripped out. The walls were bare, all the way down to the plaster and the one wall they had opted to have removed was well on its way to become a pile of rubble out in the dumpster Dan had had shifted over to their curb.

Cas was more often than not out in the garden, though. Not that Dean kept tabs on him or anything…

The team out in the backyard was assigned to manage the wood for the new wall. Sawing, measuring, arguing over the quality. Dean didn’t know half of what was going on and not only because he wasn’t paying attention.

Usually he loved his strange work hours that made it possible for him to be home in the afternoons half of the week but right now he was hating it. And there were only so many times his friend Sid would agree to have an early beer at the bar before questions started falling. And Dean had no answers. Just knew he couldn’t be around Cas for too long.

And the worst part wasn’t that it was just about the attraction that totally should be disgusting but very much wasn’t. It was also that somehow he felt sad when he met the man’s eyes. As if they were trying to tell him something but he couldn’t figure out what. He hated it.

"Dean?"

He did _not_ jump three feet into the air.

"What?"

Lisa scrunched her nose at his sharp tone and he cringed inwardly but she didn’t say anything about it.

"I’ve made lemonade for the workers, would you mind bringing it out for them?"

He didn’t know why she phrased it as a question when it clearly wasn’t one.

"Lis, I’m not a waitress."

Yeah, _clearly_ the wrong thing to say. She put her hands on her hips. "Dean, those men work out in the sun all day, they deserve a drink."

He wasn’t arguing that, for fuck’s sake.

"So you bring it, you made it."

She sighed. "I’m driving Ben to Little League, please don’t be obstinate, Dean."

She said it as if he usually was, which was unfair, he thought. So just to placate her he nodded and followed her downstairs. It was still ridiculous, though. Those workers had been taking care of themselves all week and sure, maybe the heat had steadily been rising but they had their own water.

Dean knew that because he had seen the bottles littering his nice yard, not because he had watched Cas drink. Watched his Adam’s apple bob and tracked the thin trail of water as it slipped out of the corner of the man’s mouth, slithering down his chin…

So yeah, the workers had their own goddamn water and fucking hell, Lisa must have made this lemonade in the bathroom sink. That was just disgusting.

She kissed his cheek when she had showed him the plate with glasses and a pitcher full of yellow lemon lemonade. It even had ice in it, how thoughtful. He grumbled something about them getting paid but didn’t refuse her and she walked out to the car with Ben in tow.

Dean sighed and lifted the plate. Fuck, that was heavy. He gritted his teeth and opted to just put the whole thing down on the table they had on the patio.

"My wife made you something to drink." He called over to the men and they lit up like the goddamn Fourth of July.

Holy shit, it looked like they hadn’t ever gotten something as nice as this and okay, their heartfelt thanks made him feel pretty good about doing this for them. He looked around and frowned when he couldn’t see a specific pair of blue eyes.

"Where’s Cas?"

"He went to the van to get a spirit level." A big worker Dean had heard the others call Tom answered. "His loss." He grinned and Dean saw then that the pitcher was almost empty. Holy hell, had Lisa put alcohol in it or what the fuck?

Not feeling like Cas deserved to miss out he snatched a glass and poured the man a drink.

"I’ll just take this to him." He mumbled even though no one was listening and he could just hold it for when Cas came back.

But somehow he found himself walking down the path that ran between his house and the garage, towards the front where the van and trucks were parked beside the dumpster.

He met Cas halfway and even though they were in the shade of the house the man’s eye glittered when he met Dean’s. Dean’s heart hurt. Head, Dean’s head hurt. Probably because of the heat.

"I, um…" he held up the glass. "Lemonade?"

Cas’ eyebrows raised and he shifted his eyes to the glass instead. Somehow it made Dean feel worse. He _wanted_ the man’s eyes on him. Dimly he realized this was the first he had spoken alone with Cas since their first meeting.

"You made it for me?" Cas asked and shit, was his voice rougher somehow?

Dean should say no because Lisa made it. "Yeah." But Dean was an idiot. "I-I mean, there’s a pitcher on the table," he hooked a thumb over his shoulder. "But I didn’t think…might be the others would drink it all and I thought…"

Cas took the glass from Dean and their fingers would have brushed if Cas didn’t have his gloves on. Dean hated those gloves.

"Thank you, Dean." Cas said and looked mightily pleased. Fuck.

Like a complete moron Dean stood rooted to the spot as Cas drank hungrily. His lips wrapped almost sinfully against the edge of the glass and Dean had _never_ been jealous of an inanimate object before but shit. Just…just fucking _shit_.

Dean was aroused, aroused enough to be embarrassingly close to popping a boner, but all of a sudden that overwhelming sadness washed over him. The feeling of loss and longing was so immense that it should have quashed any and all arousal but all it did was make Dean let out a pained little mewl at the warring emotions.

And Cas noticed, of course. He frowned deeply and stepped closer to Dean. Dean wanted to lean in, wanted — God help him — wanted to _hug_ the man.

"Dean." He rumbled in a voice that was surely too intimate. All the other workers called him Mr. Winchester, why wasn’t he mad that Cas didn’t? "What’s wrong?"

Dean’s chest constricted. "Nothing." He whispered. His head hurt, his whole body felt hot, too tight, too strung out. Too… "I-I gotta go."

He didn’t run inside but only because he didn’t think his legs would manage it. Well inside and upstairs he barricaded himself in the master bathroom even though no one was following him. Looking at his reflection in the mirror he could have sworn he had seen a ghost and suddenly inexplicit anger pounded through him.

He let out a punched out yell and smashed his fist against the wall beside the mirror. The wall was sturdy enough to not even crack and all he accomplished was searing pain shooting through his hand. But it felt good. Felt better than that fucked up sadness. What the fuck was even wrong with him?

Was he seriously sad about liking Cas — especially when he didn’t _like_ Cas?! Was he sad about the prospect of his body wanting him to cheat on his wife? No, Dean was a loyal man, that would never happen. Was it because he kept getting boners about Cas and Cas was a man? Was this about sexuality? No, that didn’t seem right either. Because if any of that was the answer then why had he felt this tremendous longing?

He punched the wall again because it was easier than thinking.

Yes, that pain felt good, felt grounding. So he let himself rage for a while. Yelled and punched and didn’t stop until his knuckles got ruddy. When he saw that he stumbled back to slump down on the toilet.

His breathing was hard and his mind blank as he tore at his jeans, almost ripping the fabric in his haste to pull out his achingly hard dick. He stripped himself fast and harshly, gritting his teeth against the dry feeling of having only his precome to slick the way. His other hand was clenching so hard on his thigh that it hurt both his fingers and his thigh but he could hardly feel it.

Coming didn’t feel like pleasure or relief. Felt only like another punishment and a broken groan clawed its way up his throat as he emptied himself over his taut stomach. Great, now he felt worse _and_ his whole body hurt.

One glimpse of himself in the mirror calmed him down, though. His mind mellowed out and he slumped back against the toilet to wait for his breathing even out before he started cleaning himself up.

Couldn’t have Lisa find him like this, not ever.

  


*****

  


Another long week later and Dean was tired of feeling heartsick like this. Even Lisa had questioned his lackluster behavior. Didn’t help that Cas had given him some concerned looks as well. As if they were best friends or…or good friends. Friends at all.

Dean knew he should talk to someone. Preferably Lisa or at least Cas. Dean wanted to talk to Sam but his little brother was swamped in tests now that he was in the middle of finals at pre-law Stanford and long before this whole mess even began Dean had promised to only call if there was an emergency. And he knew Sam needed his study time to not be interrupted but this started to feel like an emergency, okay?

But Dean also knew that his little brother would drop everything to come help Dean and Dean didn’t want Sam to miss out on his finals because of this.

Because what the hell was this even?

Was he…was he crushing on Cas? No, it didn’t feel like it. Still, it was undeniable that he got all flushed and flustered every time the man looked at him. But those feelings _aside_ there was also this bone-deep longing for him. Dean wanted Cas to look at only him.

And fuck, yesterday he had gone out to join Ben as the boy was shooting some hoops and Cas had of course happened to come by and had _praised_ him. Dean hadn’t gotten hard or flustered then. Just insanely happy. And he said insane because that was what it was. What he was.

Dean walked naked out of his bathroom and into the bedroom, wiping his hair and muttering to himself about the unfairness of it all.

He had just gotten home from work and knew Lisa would be home soon too. Her sister was coming over too with her obnoxious little girl and Dean and Ben would most likely spend the whole evening waiting for it to be over. At least the sister was bringing take-out.

He walked over to the window to see if the workers were finished with packing up their tools for the day. _No other_ reason.

His dick swayed heavily between his legs, half-hard for no other reason than the fact that he and Lisa hadn’t had sex in a while. Usually it was Dean that initiated it and he had felt so emotionally drained lately that he hadn’t even thought about it and it wasn’t like Lisa said something.

He gave his head a last scrub before letting the towel rest around his shoulders. There was no sign of the workers in the back yard but Dean could see some tools still lying by the patio. Before he could reflect on it, however, Cas came into view.

Like most hot days this one had ended with Cas in nothing but his boots, jeans, and tool belt. Dean’s mouth went dry. He watched as Cas walked carefully around the back yard, obviously looking for forgotten tools. Even from this distance Dean could see the muscles play underneath the man’s tanned skin.

Up close Dean had seen this adorable little birthmark over Cas’ right nipple and he bit his lower lip as he imagined licking it now. He was too far away to see it clearly now but he saw enough. His hand wrapped around his dick and he gave a small squeeze before he started pumping slowly.

Cas was bending over to pick up the tools by the patio. What Dean wouldn’t give to have Cas bend over for him. Or maybe have the man sit on him? Get those thigh muscles working as he rode Dean slowly. Cas straightened with a smile and Dean started pumping faster, his other hand coming up to play with his nipple.

He sucked in air through his teeth and stared, transfixed, at Cas’ arms. The muscles in his right arm bulged when he picked up a big toolbox Dean hadn’t noticed. He rifled around in the box for a moment. Dean’s movements were getting jerky. He was almost panting now, his dick covered in precome.

And then Cas bent down again, crawled under a chair and oh sweet Lord, that ass. He wasn’t really wriggling it but it looked like it to Dean. Dean’s stomach muscles were twitching. His brow was sweaty and he huffed out a harsh breath when the first pull of his orgasm hit him.

When Cas straightened again he tossed a screwdriver into the box and hitched up his jeans before — _fucking hell!_ — before reaching down and adjusting his dick.

Dean’s breath hitched and he came forcefully. He shot long and hard, splattering the window, before his knees gave in and he crashed down to the floor, his dick still spitting come.

His pleasured moan turned into a wracking sob when he realized what he had done.

He had jacked off to a man and he had come so hard he was still shaking from it. Dean needed help.

  


*****

  


The only light in the bedroom was the moon which shone in through the window. It was late at night and Ben was long since asleep. Not that Lisa ever was very vocal in their lovemaking but it was still good to know their son probably wouldn’t overhear anything.

Lisa was on her hands and knees in front of Dean, her plush butt pushed up against his pelvis as he thrust languidly into her wet heat. When he did it a little harder she made a kind of keening sound and he really liked that but he knew she didn’t so he didn’t do it very much.

Tonight felt like a night for it, though.

Yet another week had passed and the kitchen was looking great. Mickelsen and his workers were really efficient and—and you know what? Dean hadn’t been paying a speck of attention other than noticing how one wall was gone and a new one had gone up.

Dean had spent the week avoiding having to avoid Cas. And the man had caught his staring more than once. And he had stared right back. Once he had even licked his lips and Dean shuddered even now as he was buried in his wife.

Dean’s funk was getting so deep it wasn’t even a funk even more. It was a pit of wallowing despair and self-pity and tonight he hadn’t been able to take it anymore. Had _needed_ and even though he was man enough to by now admit that he actually wanted Cas more than his wife he was still selfish enough to seek comfort in her body because it was easier. And it wasn’t like Lisa was complaining.

_She would if she knew._

He did his best to ignore thoughts like that because as far as Lisa knew Dean was just being grumpy because of the construction work being done. Of course he let her think that and it was somewhat true anyway. The kitchen _was_ shaping up but there was still a long time to go and Dean wanted the workers out of his domain.

Well, all but one.

God, just the thought of never seeing Cas again made him grip Lisa harder as he gritted his teeth to hold in an almost pained moan.

He was _married_.

Married and fucking—making love, Dean—his wife and yet he _still_ couldn’t shake thoughts of Cas from his mind.

Cas with his easy smile, intense eyes, and chiseled jaw. Fuck, Dean wanted to feel the man’s stubble scratch against his own. He wanted to feel that stubble against the sensitive skin on the inside of his thighs. He wanted, fuck, he wanted Cas’ plump lips on his dick.

"Shit." He groaned and Lisa made that keening sound.

He should rein himself in but he couldn’t. His dick was so hard and the heat around him felt so good. What would it feel like if it was Cas? Gay men did it up the ass, right? He blindly moved his hands to grope Lisa’s ass cheeks, his thumbs skirting the little pucker there. He wasn’t even aware that his eyes were closed. All he saw were images of Cas bending over.

What would Cas’ gruff voice sound like during sex? Would it get all high like a woman’s? Dean panted and his stomach muscles were contracting now, his balls tight. In and out, hips thrusting and breath ragged.

Or maybe it would get even deeper? Would sound all raspy as he whispered all the filthy things he wanted Dean to do to him.

Or…

Or things he wanted to do to Dean?

"Oh, _fuck_." Dean’s back bowed and he pushed himself in as far as he could go. " _Cas._ "

His whole body shook with his orgasm and he didn’t even feel Lisa tensing up until he was coming down from the high. Fuck, that had been intense.

"…say?"

"What?" he mumbled and grinded his hips in small circles.

"I said: what did you say?"

His blood froze when he caught up on what she was referring to. Because what the actual _hell_?!

Thankfully his body was still too lax in his post-orgasm haze for it to tense up too much. He kept grinding and kneaded her ass.

"I said ass." He mumbled as affectionately as he could. "I love your ass, baby."

That was the lamest, flimsiest lie he had ever fucking told but to his immense relief it worked. Lisa giggled and he slapped her extremely lightly on her right ass cheek. She didn’t like spanking but little taps like that were okay.

Then she stilled again and looked questioningly over her shoulder at him. "Did you come?"

He blinked and couldn’t, for a moment, fathom how she hadn’t even felt it. He supposed it was because she had gotten hung up on what he had said.

"Sorry." He grinned lopsidedly and kneaded her ass again. "I just really loved it, okay?" he pulled out his limp dick and quickly pulled off the condom to tie it off.

Lisa was rolling to lie on her back with her legs spread around him and thankfully she was smiling.

"We’ve been married for years, you should have said something sooner."

 _Years?_ Dean thought distractedly as he lowered himself to get his face against her still wet pussy.

"I’m telling you now." He murmured and licked her once. It made her jump and then sigh contently.

Yes, this was good, he was great at this. With his face pressed against Lisa’s sex it should be easy for him to forget about those disturbing thoughts. Should. But the truth was that just thinking about how he could never have that with Cas made his chest burn.

He was glad Lisa tugged on his hair as she came on his tongue because the pain helped ground him so he wouldn’t start crying.

  


*****

  


Dean’s head pounded and white spots danced before him when he blinked. Mother of mercy, this was one fucker of a hangover.

Another week of being torn apart had led Dean to drastic measures. Sid had been all for a night out and it had been good, until it hadn’t and fucking hell, Lisa’s displeased face when she found him puking his guts out in their bathroom would have made Dean cry if he hadn’t already been crying.

Snot nosed, his lower face specked with vomit and spit, tears streaking down his face. Yeah he had made a sight alright. Lisa had been so mad.

Because Dean _knew_ that this day was the day she was taking Ben for a visit to her parents and Dean _knew_ they had agreed that he would stay home to supervise the construction work. She hadn’t needed to tell him in that angry tone that made his self-hate even worse.

Of course he knew, that was after all why he had gone out drinking in the first place. Because he wouldn’t handle being in the house all weekend with just Cas and the other workers. He needed Lisa and Ben as the truest barrier.

In hindsight he supposed he could just have invited Sid over during the days. But he had solved his increasing desperation the only way he knew and Captain Morgan had thought it had been a splendid idea. And had kept thinking so until about 3 a.m. and that was when Dean was visited with the sudden urge to sing his song to the toilet. He was just glad he had managed to roll home before it started.

Lisa hadn’t been interested in any of his excuses and as soon as it was late enough she had taken Ben just as planned and now, only about two hours after they had gone, the workers would be coming. And Dean was so hung over he was practically still drunk, if that was a thing.

He wobbled around his house, clutching a bottle of water in one hand and pressing two of his fingers to his forehead as if he thought that would help. It didn’t.

He jerked and almost crashed into a nearby wall when he heard the by now familiar sound of Cas’ van pulling up out front. God, he didn’t want to meet Cas like this. He was hung over, vulnerable, and a fucking mess but too late, there was Cas walking in through the door and what the hell? Had Lisa left it unlocked?

Cas pulled up short when he saw the pathetic figure of Dean huddling by the wall.

"Dean?" he asked, clearly alarmed and he dropped the tool belt he had been carrying as he hurried over. Dean jerked back when Cas reached for him and the other man pressed his lips together before he stepped even closer and put his gloved hand on Dean’s forehead.

"I don’t have a fever." Dean rasped, his throat sore from vomiting.

"You’re hot."

_You’re hot._

Dean was a wretched shell of a man.

He swatted at the man but Cas easily stepped away before they even made contact. "‘M just hung over, ‘kay? You just do you work or whatever."

Cas’ eyes softened with sympathy. "Dean, we can return tomorrow."

"No!" Dean’s head flashed white with pain at the loud noise. He groaned and leaned more heavily against the wall. "Lisa would kill me, I brought this on myself. I just…" he looked up and saw nothing but sympathy in Cas’ eyes. Fuck the man was stunning. Dean’s throat closed up. "I’m not…I-I mean, you shouldn’t…"

Cas stepped closer again, this time putting his hands on Dean’s hips and _holy fuck that was Cas’ hands on Dean’s hips_!

"Dean." The man breathed, his breath ghosting over Dean’s clammy skin. Dean strained towards the man like a flower straining for the sun. "Is this about you and me?"

"Y-you and…?" Dean couldn’t process a single thought.

"I have seen you looking at me." Cas clarified calmly. Dean’s whole body trembled. "Are you attracted to me? Are you ashamed of it? Did you drink to forget?"

"Yes." Dean hissed in a raspy voice. "I-I can’t be…"

Cas breathed out evenly, his breath more concentrated on Dean’s lips as he leaned in. Fuck, they were basically the same height and that was a new one for Dean.

"Dean." Cas whispered, his eyes sparkling with intensity and God, were his pupils expanding? "I’m going to kiss you now and after we will talk again."

Dean just stared like a deer caught in a semi’s headlights. Kiss him? Cas was going to kiss him? Now? Here?

Cas waited half a heartbeat, probably to see if Dean would object, but Dean’s mind blanked out and he pressed himself in the last quarter of an inch to beat Cas to the kiss.

And with the first touch of their lips, with the first skin on skin contact at all, Dean felt his whole body fill with a searing hot feeling of completeness. Felt like everything was right. Felt like liquid fire. Felt like—

  


—Dean startled awake with a pained scream on his lips.

The room was dark, and small. Two beds, one window, a rickety table with two chairs, a divider that was supposed to look like stars but looked like fat starfishes. Scratchy sheets, a gun under his pillow. _His_ gun under the pillow.

Dean sat up so fast it hurt his back. This was the motel room he had fallen asleep in. Sam’s duffle bag was on the other bed, contents upended to find the best clean shirt, which was how it should be because he had hooked up with that waitress.

_Once in a blue moon, Sammy._

_Shut up Dean. I’m taking the car._

_One scratch…_

_Yeah, yeah, one scratch._

They were supposed to be hunting…no the hunt was over. Ghost put to rest, haunted library saved. Dean would have been miffed that he hadn’t been the one to receive the celebratory sex but he really wasn’t because Cas…

He whipped around but the person sitting in the armchair by the bathroom door wasn’t Cas. And it wasn’t a person either.

He was up out of the bed in a flash, gun poised and ready even though he _knew_ it wouldn’t make a difference.

"Well, well, Deano. That took you long enough."

"Gabriel." Dean gritted out. The gun felt perfect in Dean’s hand. Just one shot, just one to feel good.

"Now, now." Gabriel tutted and flicked his hand. The gun was on the bed. Fucker. "Let’s put that away before you hurt yourself."

"What the hell is going on?!" Dean roared. His whole body was itching with the wrongness of it all. Not the same wrongness as before but…but just _wrong_. He wanted Cas to fly in, so much.

Gabriel gave him a mocking smile. "Reeling from the dream, Ken doll?"

Dean tried to calm down because yes, that was exactly what he was doing and he didn’t want the archangel to notice. More than he already had.

"What are you even doing here?" he asked derisively. "Haven’t seen you since…oh, since we trapped you in that circle of holy oil." He tried to grin mockingly himself. And failed.

Gabriel pouted and got to his feet. "Yes, and thank you very much for that."

"You stuck us in TV land."

"And now I stuck you in dream land, funny how things work out."

Dean pulled himself up, apprehensive of his surroundings. But this felt realer, not as bright and colorful. "Are we still in the dream?"

Gabriel smiled almost pleasantly and it freaked Dean out.

"No, you managed to find the only door out I had installed. And in a much shorter time than I had expected, bravo."

Dean blinked dumbly. "Cas’ lips?" it made him blush to say it out loud but he was pretty certain Gabriel had watched the entire thing so there was really no point in denying it, was there?

Gabriel made a half-shrug. "Cassie’s lips, touch, affection. Cassie in general."

Suddenly Dean wanted Cas there so much it physically hurt not to have him. "Just tell me why." He said tiredly and Gabriel squinted at him.

"Because a little birdie told me that Cassie is falling from grace. Cut off from the Heavenly Host and plummeting toward humanity. And that he did it all for _you_." Gabriel stepped right up into Dean’s personal space and even though the angel was shorter Dean cowered before his icy glare. "I told you, Cassie is a sweet angel. So I had to make sure you’ll take care of him. Had to make sure that even if you had everything you could ever want, that you would still want Cas more. And you do, so you got out."

Dean shuddered to think of what might have happened to him if he hadn’t figured it out.

"Everything I ever want is Cas." He mumbled with a blush so intense it hurt his cheeks. He was glad the room was only barely illuminated by the neon vacancy sign outside.

Gabriel looked mighty pleased. "Just wanted to see if you would always choose him. Nice job, Deano."

He disappeared with that. Forever? Dean didn’t know, frankly didn’t care at the moment. It was disconcerting that he had found Dean even with the angel warding but it could have been a fluke. Or he could have followed Cas here.

_Cas._

Dean whipped around but of course not.

"Cas!" he yelled, almost screamed. Much too loudly for the dead of the night in a dingy motel room. How thick were these walls?

A familiar _fwump_ announced Cas’ arrival and he was standing there, looking all adorably confused.

"Dean?" he said in his usually gravelly voice. "What’s wrong?"

Slightly too big trench coat that he insisted actually was an overcoat. Rumpled suit, tie askew and backwards. Perfect. Dean’s imperfect little angel.

He took two long strides over to Cas and caught him by his coat’s lapels, pulled him in. Lips against lips and this time there was nothing interrupting them. And fucking hell, it felt good. Right, perfect. So soft, slightly chapped, tasting of _Cas_.

Yes, this was how it should be, not like in the dream. Because out here it was reality and Dean and Cas had been screwing around for over three months now. Cas was…well was he Dean’s boyfriend? Lover? No, Dean wouldn’t say that. Cas was more. Should probably say that to him, though.

The angel made a pleased sound and put his hands on Dean’s sides to pull him in closer. Dean followed willingly and pressed as close as humanly possible, eager to feel Cas’ length fill out, eager to feel Cas’ warmth, Cas’ own eagerness. But he was confused too and Dean got that.

"No more hiding around." Dean panted against the angels kiss-swollen lips. "I’m telling Sam tomorrow. I need you Cas."

Cas’ hands clenched against his sides. "I would like that."

"I know." Dean kissed him between words, desperate to have that connection. "I know, I’m sorry. I’ve been an ass. I want you Cas. I need you."

"Dean." Cas put a hand in Dean’s hair and tugged gently. Felt good but Dean knew the angel really wanted him to pull out so they could look at each other when they spoke. "Tell me what’s going on?"

How could he tell Cas everything? Not that he didn’t want to but how could he put into words how he had felt in Gabriel’s dream? That longing, that terrible feeling of needing the man and not thinking he could have him. He knew those feelings were real too because he always longed for his angel and he always thought that there would come a day when he wasn’t enough. When Cas wouldn’t want him anymore. If the angel truly was falling from grace because of Dean, wouldn’t that mean that he would come to resent Dean in time? Dean didn’t think he could deal with that and he certainly couldn’t put those feelings to words.

Plus, if he told Cas about Gabriel’s forced dream then the angel might want to hunt after his brother and Dean couldn’t deal with Cas leaving right now.

"I had a bad dream." He murmured and shifted his hands so he could hug Cas tightly. "I’ll tell you later, please? I need you now."

"Need." Cas said, his eyes dangerously squinted the way there were when he was deep in thought and okay, he had promised Dean he wouldn’t read their minds but he could if he wanted to, right?

So Dean took the presented opportunity and spun them around so he could press Cas down on the bed. Trench coat spread beneath him like a pair of wings he looked appropriately otherworldly. Dean climbed between the angel’s legs and Cas already knew how to spread them to fit Dean’s bulk.

He pulled his legs up a little, bent them at the knees to plant his feet on the bed and Dean sunk in-between. He gasped at the feeling of Cas around him, encompassing him with his arms and legs. He felt vulnerable and raw and fuck, he was shaking in the angel’s embrace.

They were suddenly naked because angel mojo, man. To his horror Dean found that he was barely hard, probably too overwhelmed by fucking feelings. Cas was in a similar state but probably more due to concern and confusion. So emotions there too, God fucking damnit.

"Cas." Dean whispered and hauled himself up so they were face to face. "Cas, you’re…"

Cas cupped Dean’s face with his soft hands when he was unable to finish the sentence.

"I’m yours." Cas said reassuringly, steadily. Determinedly.

Dean let out a shuddering breath and didn’t start crying because he was Dean fucking Winchester and Dean fucking Winchester didn’t cry during sex. He did get tear-eyed, though, but nothing spilled so there.

Cas pulled him down into a kiss and Dean melted against him. As much as he wanted it rough and fast to quell that desperation inside him he also needed it tender and soft.

Cas kissed him languidly, taking his time to map out Dean’s mouth with his tongue and Dean felt his body slowly responding. He rolled down his hips and found to his delight that Cas definitely was hard. With a slight shift Dean got their dicks to align and that felt fucking awesome. Cas groaned at the friction and the sound was the hottest Dean had ever heard.

So he grabbed a hold on Cas’ hips, gathered him close and thrust down harder. Cas broke their kiss to gasp, his head flying back and exposing the blemish free column of his throat. With one hand on the angel’s hip to steady his thrusting and the other coming up to pinch Cas’ perky nipples, Dean bent down and latched onto the angel’s bobbing Adam’s apple.

Cas moaned so deeply that Dean could feel the vibrations against his lips. Next thing he knew Cas had hooked his feet behind Dean’s thighs, just below his rump, and was using the leverage to control their movements. Dean bore down on the angel with powerful thrusts and fucking hell, he wasn’t going to last long if they kept this up.

Cas was as vocal as ever, tugging at Dean’s hair, and with a beautiful cock that spit enough precome to slick their way. Dean was contributing but fuck, he really wanted in this time.

"Cas." He gasped against the angel’s throat. "Cas I want you. Want to be inside you."

Cas grunted and his movements lost coordination for a moment. "Yes, Dean." He pushed out in an almost strangled tone. "You better hurry, though."

"Fuck yeah." Dean moaned and pushed up to kiss Cas sloppily once before tearing himself away.

Just getting off the bed to locate his duffle and the lube felt like tearing his heart out. He kept looking over at the bed to see that Cas was still there and fuck, he really was. Just lying there on the bed, looking appropriately debauched and stroking his own dick slowly. Dean couldn’t believe it had been only three months since he first kissed the angel. Two and a half since he first was inside Cas. If they kept this up he knew he would want Cas inside him someday. Hell, he wanted it already but not tonight. He needed to feel Cas’ heat around him tonight. His poor dick bobbed at the merest thought of it. Cas was always so hot.

"Dean." Cas whined as best he could in his gravelly voice. It wasn’t whiny in the least but Dean got the message to hurry the fuck up anyway.

He rifled through his duffle and found the lube in the side pocket where he had left it. Should have checked there first but hey, he had a naked and aroused angel behind him, sue him for not thinking straight.

As soon as his hand closed around the bottle he stumbled back to bed. Cas didn’t really need the lube and barely needed stretching but Dean liked the slick feeling and besides, if Gabriel was right and Cas was falling then someday he might need all the prep like everyone else. Dean hadn’t thought about that before but he sure as hell did now.

So he got to knees between Cas’ open legs, pushed them up a bit and stroked Cas’ balls once tenderly, lovingly, before he coated his fingers and traced them around Cas’ hole. The angel made a pleased noise and accommodated by relaxing and folding his legs against his chest.

Dean knew Cas liked this part too, even if it was a little unnecessary for him. So he took his time to trace the rim and only pressed one finger inside when Cas made a breathy little sound of impatience. His dick was so hard it was pressed flat against his stomach, a pool of precome around the tip.

"You’re beautiful." Dean said reverently and wasn’t surprised when his voice came out all raspy.

Cas huffed out a laugh that made his hole clench. Dean added a new finger, reaching deeper. Cas let out a choked out groan when Dean found his prostate and his legs trembled even as his hole clenched harder.

"Dean, you have to hurry up."

"I want to take my time."

Cas squirmed on Dean’s fingers. Three now and his prostate was rubbed mercilessly. "I’m going to come without you."

"Angel stamina."

Cas’ eyes glittered in the neon light. "Not around you."

Dean’s breath hitched. "Play with your nipples."

Cas keened but did as told. Dean knew he loved to play with his nipples and he wanted to push Cas’ boundaries. Ever since Jimmy died and left Cas alone in that body it had become much more responsive to him. At least Dean hoped that was the reason and that it didn’t have anything to do with Cas’ plummet towards humanity.

In either case, Cas’ hole fluttered just wonderfully when he pinched his own nipples and his dick spurted out a fresh blob of precome.

"Dean." He moaned wantonly and yeah, Dean couldn’t deny his angel — or himself — any longer.

With quick movements he pulled out of Cas’ heat and coated his dick with lube before lining up. Cas hooked his feet behind Dean’s thighs again and grabbed Dean’s shoulders to pull him closer. Just as the tip of Dean’s cock pushed inside Cas kissed him, swallowing his almost pained moan.

The pleasure was blinding, the heat almost too much, but the knowledge that this was _Cas_ , his Cas, Castiel Angel of the Lord, beneath him, around him… Dean felt so overwhelmed he almost blew his load before he was even all the way inside.

It was insane. They had done this many times before, in every conceivable position plus some pretty inconceivable one aided by Cas’ angelic strength. And yet this moment right now was taking Dean’s breath away. He trembled as he sheathed himself all the way in, resting with his balls snuggly against Cas’ body. Cas was all around him and Dean never felt safer than here, with Cas.

"Dean." Cas whispered soothingly and Dean only then realized he was trembling for more reasons than pleasure. Cas stroked his back. "It’s okay."

"I dreamt you weren’t mine." Dean said in a strangled voice, muffled by how he pressed his face against Cas’ neck.

"But I am."

"I dreamt I was someone else’s."

Cas’ grip tightened. "You’re not. Whatever happens, Dean, I will take care of you."

Douche bag angels be damned, the apocalypse be damned, Lucifer and Michael be fucking damned. Dean believed him.

He pulled out as far as he dared and pushed back in with a satisfied groan. Cas’ body stiffened that way it did when he was unprepared for the feelings of pleasure. When Dean moved again to set a steady rhythm the angel practically melted beneath him.

"Oh, Dean." He breathed and Dean kissed his neck.

Bit the skin to make it ruddy and then lapped at it in forgiveness. Steadily his tempo got faster, his thrusts harder, and Cas followed him beautifully, rolling with every motion as if he was made to take Dean. The angel’s dick was trapped between them, pressed tightly between their taut stomachs and Dean loved the feeling of it sliding there, aided by Cas’ precome.

"Fuck, Cas, you’re…"

"I know."

"No, but Cas, I-I…" goddamnit, why couldn’t he just say it? "I need you."

Cas stroked Dean’s hair. "I know, Dean, I know. I need you too. Shh, it’s okay."

Cas’ hole was clenching around Dean, to tight, almost like a vice. Dean couldn’t breathe. His dick was so hard, his balls so tight.

"Imma come." He grunted, delirious with pleasure.

Cas nodded and kissed Dean’s temple. "Please, Dean. I want it, I want you." One more kiss, Dean was on the edge and it felt razor sharp. "I love you."

Pleasure so sharp it cut through Dean’s body like a searing knife shot through him and he screamed helplessly against Cas’ neck as he emptied himself inside the angel’s willing body. Cas encouraged him to keep rolling his hips. It felt like his hole was milking Dean’s dick for all he had and by God it was a lot.

Somewhere in the middle of Dean’s almost painful orgasm he felt Cas come too. The hot, sticky mess between them got a whole lot sticker and hotter and Dean grinned in satiated satisfaction when he felt it.

Cas made these wonderfully breathless noises when he came and Dean loved every single one. He stayed inside Cas for as long as he could, even when he went soft, and Cas seemed perfectly at peace below Dean. Eventually Dean got soft enough to slide out together with some of his come but he still didn’t move.

"Tell me." Cas commanded then and Dean supposed the angel already knew it had been more than a regular dream.

"Gabriel trapped me in a dream land." He mumbled sluggishly, his mind still too high on residual pleasure for him to function properly. Plus he was lying face down on Cas’ chest. He licked the skin once just because he could and Cas didn’t object because of course he didn’t.

"Why?" Cas’ voice was hard and Dean understood why.

"To teach me a lesson, I think. To protect you."

"Me?"

Fucking hell, Cas sounded so adorable when he was confused. Dean rearranged himself so he could prop his head up on the angel’s chest. The angle was all off but Cas peered down at him all the same.

"Think he’d gotten wind of what you and me were doing and just wanted to make sure I would be good to you or something. It doesn’t matter now."

"It does. He upset you."

Cas was even cuter when he was being all protective and shit. "It all worked out, right? What’s more troubling is how he found me with your protections on my ribs."

Cas’ eyes darkened but not in a sexy way. It was still sexy to Dean, though.

"I might have to kill him."

Dean smiled and put his head down again, snuggling in because yeah, he could admit he liked snuggling with Cas.

"Let’s deal with the apocalypse first, okay?"

Cas hummed and put his arms around Dean, holding him tight and Dean loved every single thing about this moment.

"You’re right, the apocalypse is more pressing. And it might be that Lucifer kills him for us."

Dean snorted, already half asleep. "Yeah, we should be so lucky."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Original prompt: _Basically Dean is married to Lisa and have Ben together but he is still inexplicitly drawn to this other dude (Cas) who’s always around for some reason. So there’s a lot of angst and pining because Dean doesn’t want to cheat but he can’t stop thinking about Cas. But then in the end it turns out it was all a dream and Dean and Cas has been together all along!_


End file.
